Why is it, that you act so nonchalant, totally laid back and like, “whatever”? Like, “Oh I’m so chill, I always have places for you to park. Man, I will always do my best to accommodate you!” When really, you’re more like “Haha little girl, I never have parking. I would like to see you TRY to find a place to park in less than 45 minutes!” It’s as if you love to see the tortured souls driving around like idiots, hoping and wishing that a spot will open up so they can park. Just when they think they’ve found a spot that’s open, they realize that someone else has already found that spot and is anxiously waiting to shimmy their way in, nice and cozy.
My beloved San Francisco, my dearest parking gods, I beg of you. Please be nice to me when I come home! I would really appreciate not crying or yelling at my boyfriend as he desperately tries to talk me out of monster truck parking my car onto another car just so the madness can end.
Please, and thank you, and I love you.
Your most loyal automobile owner,