Football? What’s That?

Happy Super Bowl Day everyone! Today is one of the most glorious days for the American people. We eat, we drink, we sit on our asses and yell at the TV for a few hours. Wait, that sounds like almost every day for us.

I am not a fan of football. I grew up in the San Francisco Bay Area watching football because, well, that’s just what people do, right? Plus the 49er’s practiced in my hometown and I could walk to the field and watch them up close. My school had Joe Montana Day and we dressed in 49er colors and praised him when he came to our gym to say hello to all of us.

Alas, as I grew older I would just tell people that I didn’t completely understand the game. One day, I woke up and decided to come out. Stop lying to myself, and to others. I HATE FOOTBALL. Seriously. I hate it. It’s a lame sports game that people watch so they can live vicariously through others as they run and violently attack each other, while wearing PROTECTION. What about Rugby? Now that is one bad ass sport.

I digress. I don’t like football, but I do enjoy Super Bowl Sunday. Why? Because I get to eat fattening food, drink alcohol, and hang out with friends. Also, I love the commercials. They are pretty awesome. SO if anyone is offended by my short rant, fuck off. I let you watch football and you let me hate it and we all live happily every after. Thank you.

Mahalo.

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